The Dream Quest One Poetry & Writing Contest

Dream Quest One is sponsoring Poetry and Writing (Fiction/Non-Fiction) Contests. In their own words:

Deadline: December 31, 2008
Open to anyone who loves to express their innermost thoughts and feeling into the beautiful art of poetry or to write a short story that is worth telling everyone! And to all who have the ability to dream. Write a poem or short story for a chance to win cash prizes. All works must be original.
Write a poem, thirty lines or fewer on any subject, style, or form, typed or neatly hand printed. And/or write a short story, five pages maximum length, on any subject or theme, creative writing fiction or non-fiction (including essay compositions, diary, journal entries and screenwriting). Also, must be typed or neatly hand printed. Multiple poetry and short story entries are accepted. All winners will be announced on January 31, 2009.
Prizes:

• Writing Contest First Prize is $500. Second Prize: $250. Third Prize: $100.
• Poetry Contest First Prize is $250. Second Prize: $125. Third Prize: $50.

Entry fees: Writing Contest entry fee: $10 per short story.
Poetry Contest entry fee: $5 per poem.
To send entries: Include title(s) with your story (ies) or poem(s), along with your name, address, phone#, email, brief biographical info. (Tell us a little about yourself), on the coversheet. Add a self-addressed stamped envelope for entry confirmation. Fees payable to: “DREAMQUESTONE.COM” Mail to:
Dream Quest One
Poetry & Writing Contest
P.O. Box 3141
Chicago, IL 60654
Visit http://www.dreamquestone.com for further details or to enter!

Ambrosia - Call for Submissions

Do you write haiku?

Ambrosia - Call for Submissions:

"You are invited to submit haiku for the Winter 2009 issue of Ambrosia. The submission deadline is January 1, 2009. Submissions will NOT close earlier than the deadline.

Ambrosia is a quarterly journal—a print literary journal, a PDF ebook, and a digital online magazine—dedicated to publishing and promoting fine English haiku in traditional style.

Ambrosia specializes in fine single haiku in tercet form. Senryu are not wanted. Collaborations and sequences are generally not wanted. All selection decisions will be made at the sole discretion of the editor.

Previously unpublished work, not on offer elsewhere, is solicited."

Franklin-Christoph No-Fee Poetry Contest ~

If you have two original, unpublished poems that are less than 100 words, why not send them to the Franklin-Christoph Free Poetry Contest? You may email your entries to clientservice(at)franklin-christoph(dot)com or snail mail (postmarked by the November 30th deadline) to: Franklin-Christoph Poetry Contest, 7511 Mourning Dove Rd, Suite 104, Raleigh, NC, 27615. In addition to seeing your work published Franklin-Christoph.com, prizes are:

• First Prize: $1000 cash
• 10 Merit Award Winners: $150 Franklin-Christoph writing instruments.

Winners will be announced by February 14, 2009.
Please go to their website for the rest of their contest rules and guidelines.

Beautiful Vowels

Take a quick peek at this BBC News article about a new fiction book that manipulates the use of vowels. Entitled "Euonia", the only word in the english language that contains all five vowels, the author has divided the book into five sections, each section using only one vowel in every word. The article quotes from each of the books sections - it's quite a feat. The comments are fun to read, too.

Use These Words ...

The second issue of Use These Words is on the horizon, and they're accepting submissions until January 1, 2009. All you need to do is use all of the following words in a poem (up to 5 poems), and email them to usethesewords(at)gmail(dot)com.

• Pillow
• Tantrum
• Silver
• Roof
• Vacant
• Atlas
• Break

Don't forget to send a brief contributor's note.

First Edition Publishing - No Fee Contest

First Edition Publishing - New Fiction, New Writers is currently looking for no-fee contest submissions for their monthly contest for possible publication in upcoming issues.

"Whether you've written a short story, poem, complete novel, script, play or book review we want to hear from you. We run a monthly competition in each of these categories that is completely FREE to enter. Our team of judges will pick the best each month, and we will publish a selection of them in the next available issue of First Edition Magazine. There are cash prizes for the very best in each category. No matter which category, if chosen you can boast that your work has been published and read by tens of thousands of people, and you may even win some cash if you're the very best!

Categories we are looking for:
# Short Stories
# Serialisations of Complete Novels
# Poetry and Prose
# Plays and Scripts
# Reader's Reviews"

Storyscape Journal Seeks Outside the Box Submissions

Storyscape Journal, The Literary Journal of Champions is seeking submissions. According to their site:

"Storyscape, a new literary journal that is story-centered, asks for your submission. We want your:

Short story, long story, overheard story, invented story, true story, false story, poetic story, oral story, historical story, crafted story, stolen story, visual story.

Just captivate us with the strength of the story. The premise of the journal is to expand the notion of what stories are while shaking up the labels we use to define them. To this end, we've come up with 4 sections of the journal: Truth, Untruth, We Don't Know and They Won't Tell Us, and Stories without Words. You label your own piece, which means you decide what 'the truth' means to you. All we want is to lean back, relax, and listen to your story.

We now have a rolling submission policy. The next issue will be published online in winter of 2009."

We e-mailed the editor, Anne Hays, for some clarification on the kinds of stories listed above and we got a very speedy response! It turns out that they have shortened the list to invented story, true story, overheard story, visual story, poetic story, audio story, found story, and given story. Their website will reflect this change soon.

Here is her answer to exactly what kind of stories move them:

Our actual categories/genres for the pieces are simply, "Truth," "Untruth," and "We Don't Know and They Won't Tell Us." The listed suggestions above are simply meant to convey that we are looking for a wide variety of storytelling methods. It's definitely not meant to limit people's options in an any way!

Here is an example of something we loved: In our last issue, Kimiko Hahn wrote two pieces specifically for us. In one piece she rewrote the same poem three times while changing and lengthening the ending. In her other piece, she interspersed attempts at writing a poem with diary entries in which she pondered the creative process, and where her work was heading. I was happy she sent these specific pieces, rather than simply sending us one solid "traditional" poem, which, if you look at our suggestion list of categories, we do potentially publish.

Our vision for this journal seems to be so outside what people think of when they think of "stories" that we are constantly re-explaining the vision, and looking for better ways to encourage creativity. At the end of the day, as is the case with all journals, the pieces in it speak louder than we can in terms of what we'd publish. Check out Chris Haske's piece in our current issue--it's totally genius. Or look at Amber Boardman's. And we are absolutely looking for people to push the envelope harder. What does that cliche even mean? We are looking for people to rip the envelope up into shreds and create new envelopes.

See Storyscape's submissions page for further information on how to submit, and thank you to Anne Hays for her responsiveness and clarity.

Bantam Spectra No-Fee Short Fiction Contest

Bantam Spectra, a division of Random House, Inc., is holding a new no-fee short fiction contest for science fiction, fantasy, and horror writers:

"Presenting a new short fiction contest for unpublished writers of science fiction, fantasy, and horror.

For its third edition of Spectra Pulse, Bantam Spectra is allowing unpublished writers to get their work featured alongside some of the most well-respected names in science fiction and fantasy.

One lucky winner will receive $100 and have his/her story published in the Summer 2009 issue of Spectra Pulse, Bantam Spectra’s exclusive magazine distributed at Comic-Con San Diego and select conventions and bookstores (available July 2009)."

Check out the site for submission details and official rules

Deadline: 1/31/09, winners announced April 2009

How to Speed Read

Who wouldn't love to read faster? Check out Wired's wiki on how to do just that. They even include a link to a site called SpreedNews.com that actually helps you learn to speed read by reading the news in quick short phrases. It's a super-fun, super-quick way to get the day's news and gauge and improve your reading speed! Warning: Do it in short spurts. I did it for way to long and walked away with a bit of a headache. Or maybe I just needed to eat.

Save 30% on Selected Writing Reference Books

Writers Market / F&W Publications is offering the following discount on reference books such as the 2009 Writer's Market and other selected publications:
Use coupon code "T6REF" to receive

We've put together our Top 6 Essential Writing References that we think belong on every writer's bookshelf. Use coupon code "T6REF" to save 30% on these selected titles from Writer's Digest Books now through November 5!

Writing and Drinking

LA Observed: Undercover work for writers who drink: LA Observed has an interesting blog entry about a compay called Barfly Staff Monitoring Service who is looking for writers to go to bars and write articles about their experience. The catch? You have to have bartending experience and be able to take notes while flying under the radar.

Damselfly Press Accepting Submissions ~

Damselfly Press is accepting submissions of Fiction, Non-Fiction and Poetry until December 15, 2008 for their next issue, to be published on January 15, 2009. In their own words:

Our fifth issue honors women of all experiences, ages and backgrounds. We are pleased to feature fiction, non fiction, and poetry that is excellently crafted, thematically diverse, and accessible.

• We read year round.
• Please send online submissions only with the genre in the header of the e-mail.
• Submissions must be in a Microsoft® Word document or .RTF attachment.
• Please include writer’s contact information on a separate cover page.
• We are unable to provide compensation to writers for accepted submissions at this time.
• If a writer’s work initially appears in damselfly press and is later published elsewhere, we request an acknowledgement.
• Fiction- Send 9-10 pages of fiction not to exceed 2,500 words max. Submitters may send up to two fictional stories per submission to the fiction editor.
• Poetry- Send 1-3 poems per submission to the poetry editor.
• Nonfiction- Send 3-10 pages of nonfiction not to exceed 2,500 words max. Submitters may send up to two nonfiction submissions such as memoir or personal essays to the nonfiction editor.
• Writers must include bios not to exceed 50 words.
• We do not accept previously published work.
• For writers whose work has been accepted by our journal, please refrain from re-submitting up to a year after publication.

Ellipsis Press is Looking for Novels that Look Normal. But Aren't.

According to their website:

Ellipsis Press is interested in novels that are structurally innovative.

We like: novels that look normal but aren’t (more than those that look weird but are actually quite normal); those that are successful at bypassing or evolving the seemingly necessary but often tired elements of character and/or plot; and those that respond in some way to the history of the novel as genre and form.

Writers who have studied the traditional elements of the novel and experimented with them to emotionally moving and/or extraordinary ends are invited to submit for publication.

Send your whole manuscripts as a .rtf attachment by email only to editors [at] ellipsispress [dot] com.

We are not interested in poetry, short story collections, or non-fiction at this time. Due to time constraints we can respond only to those submissions we wish to pursue. These responses will be made within four months time.

Call for submissions: Santa Clara Review

Submit your Fiction, Nonfiction, or Poetry to the Santa Clara Review!

Santa Clara University's literary magazine is now accepting submissions for its Winter and
Spring issues.

This bi-annual publication was established in 1869 and features creative writing, art,
photography, and interviews.

The submission deadline for the next issue is
Wednesday, October 26th
Multiple pieces may be submitted. There is no word count limit. Pieces submitted after
this date will be considered for the spring issue.

Submit online at www.santaclarareview.com

Or mail to:

The Santa Clara Review
Santa Clara University
500 El Camino Real, Box #3212
Santa Clara, CA 95053"

Poetry Cemetery

The next issue of Poetry Cemetery will be it's last, unfortunately, unless they can find someone to take over. In the meantime, they are accepting submissions until November 15, 2008. Send a maximum of 5 poems in the body of your email to poetrycemetery(at)live(dot)com, with "Submissions" in the subject line. They ask that you include titles, even if the title is simply "untitled," to make it easier for them to distinguish where one poem ends and the next begins. Also, please let them know if the poems you're sending have been published elsewhere, and DON'T send them anything that is excessively vulgar, pornographic, or "otherwise offensive to the masses."

Local Poetry Readings

The Valley Contemporary Poets presents:

Tuesday, October 21
Fernando Castro
9:00 pm
open reading sign up 8:30 pm
Cobalt Cafe
22047 Sherman Way in Canoga Park, Canoga Park (just west of Topanga Canyon)
Free – one drink minimum, open reading

Sunday, November 2nd
S.A. Griffin
Dennis Cruz
Rafael Alvarado
3pm
Tarzana Community and Cultural Center
19130 Ventura Blvd
Tarzana, CA 91356

Narrative 30 Below Contest - No Fee!

This is the last week to enter Narrative Magazine's 30 Below Contest for writers and artists, ages 30 and under.

First Prize is $1,500
Second Prize is $750
Third Prize is $300

Ten finalists will be named, and all entries will be considered for publication.

Open to writers, visual artists, photographers, performers, and filmmakers. We are interested in narrative in the many forms it takes: the word and the image, the traditional and the innovative the true and the imaginary.

Entry deadline: October 27.
No fee to enter.

Writer’s Digest - The Anatomy of a Writer's Website

Many writers who find themselves in a place where they need to promote themselves and their work get overwhelmed by the thought of creating their own website. If you find yourself in this position, click on over to Writers Digest. They have an article called The Anatomy of a Writer's Website with tips and lots of resources on how to easily create your own writers website, and what kind of content to include.

Get Ready for NaNoWriMo

Don't forget that November is just around the corner, so if you're looking for motivation to write that novel that's been churning and baking in your loins, then run over to NaNoWriMo.org and log in to solidify your November commitment to write that story. Your goal? 50,000 words by November 30th.

Of Unknown Authorship: The New Anonymous Accepting Submissions ~

The New Anonymous is an annual literary journal that not only publishes all works anonymously, they blindly screen and edit submissions as well. In fact, the entire process is anonymous from beginning to end, thus freeing writers from their own generative forms and creative dispositions, creating, in effect, a safehouse where writers can not only question their creative process, but, in the words of Freud, "Play." You may send as many submissions as you like, (but please: no more than 1 piece of prose/fiction or 7 poems per email) to: thenewanonmediator(at)gmail(dot)com. Do not include your name anywhere in the document. Please go to their website to see the rest of their "very unique" requirements for submission.

Theater for the Quick Minded

Whether you suffer from ADD (don't we all on some level?) or can concentrate for hours, or if you just need a break from all that pre-Halloween candy you've been chowing down on, the folks at ACTober Fest have put together two weekends of 10 minute plays around town that sound like they might be fun to check out, and feature several Los Angeles based writers. If you go, drop us a comment and let us know how you liked them.

Group A (Oct. 17- 19):

Carwash, or in this town, you are what you drive by Stephanie Hutchinson (Los Angeles, CA)

Directed by Wynn Marlow

Saw what you did by Kyndall Amber Brown (Washington DC) - Youth

Mountain Road by Jan Michael Alejandro (Los Angeles, CA)

Directed by Lana Ford

Call me Comrade by Ross Peter Nelson (Sunnyvale, CA)

Directed by Karanai Ravenscroft

Life is just a bowl of cellos by Ann L. Gibbs (Los Angeles, CA)

Directed by Amanda Korpitz

Bed Scene by John A. Donnelly (Portland, OR)

Directed by Kristina Lloyd

O’Henry’s Shoe by Mark Saunders (Hillsboro, OR)

Directed by Diane Christiansen

Elevator by Natasha Yim (Ukiah, Ca)

Directed by David Robinson

Group B (Oct.24 - 26):

x

A Change of Plan by Dennis Jones (Powhatan, VA)

Directed by Samantha Brown

The Appointment by Jordan T. Maxwell (Los Angeles, CA)

Directed by Jonathan Hunt

Sea of Bitterness by Lauren O’Connor (Trussville, AL)

Directed by Pavel Cerny

The Basic 7 by Mark Troy (Burbank, CA)

Directed by Sal Romeo

Autodigesting by Bonnie Lake (Newburyport, MA)

Directed by Kaz Matamura

Somewhere between the Sky and the Sea by Alex Broun (Australia)

Directed by Steve Hibbert

War Letters by Umesh Yogesh Patel (Bogart, GA)

Directed by John Szura

Climb the smallest Mountain by Michael Gordon Shapiro (Los Angeles, CA) Musical

Directed by Derrel Maury

A Picture Worth Five-Hundred Words ~

Here's a picture to get you started on an entry to Tattoo Highway's current prose/poetry contest.Take a look at it, mull it over, (How do you really feel about whatever it is they're doing to those fish?) and write a 500-word-or-less short-short story, or a 15-lines-or-less poem, to send to them by "sometime in January '09." If you win, in addition to the glory, the first place winner in each category will receive a $30 bookstore gift certificate and publication in their 18th issue. Mark your entry clearly in the subject field of your email: "TH18 Contest," and send it to: submissions(at)tattoohighway(dot)org.

lunchhourbooks.com Seeks Short Stories

lunchhourbooks.com is searching for short stories for their upcoming online subscription-based publication. Also check out their Tips for Better Stories which gives some interesting insight into what they are and are not seeking.

According to their site:

"Lunch Hour Stories magazine is always seeking excellent short stories for publication. Stories should be previously unpublished, mainstream or literary in nature, 4000-8000 words in length, and formatted in common manuscript format... Genre writers: Mild suspense, mystery, fantasy, and sci-fi will be considered, as long as the story can appeal to a general audience. Please do not send children's, religious, romance or erotica, as they will not be considered... Submissions are accepted at any time of the year; however, the deadline for entry into our annual short story contest is June 30 of each year."

What Agents Hate

Here is an informative article from Writer's Digest about what agents hate to read when reading the first chapter of your novel.

Writer’s Digest - What Agents Hate

LitMatch - Literary Agent Directory, Response Times and Submission Tracking

We found another groovy site for finding agents and tracking submissions. Membership is free and they offer a matching search to find agents suitable to your work.

From their site:

LitMatch - Literary Agent Directory, Response Times and Submission Tracking: "More than just a directory, LitMatch is the FREE source for literary agent information that allows writers to organize their search for representation and track their submissions online!"

They are also currently running a one-year anniversary give-away to current and new subscribers (it's free to sign-up!) who sign and enter up by December 31st, 2008, where you can win:

1 - Grand Prize: One FREE online sales class, courtesy of Gotham Writers' Workshop (a $150 value!) Choose from the following classes:

• Nonfiction Book with nonfiction book editor Stephanie Staal
• How to Sell Your Screenplay with Hollywood insider David Title
• How To Freelance with professional freelancer Cindy Price
• How To Get Published with literary agent Stephen Barbara

2 - One of five, one-year subscriptions to The Writer Magazine.

3- One of three, one-year memberships to TheNextBigWriter.com

What's The Worst That Could Happen?

If you've been through a particularly harrowing experience, a nightmare road trip where everything that could go wrong did, the Road Junky 2008 Travel Writing Contest -- Hell Trips is the perfect contest for you! They want to hear about your worst journeys, your near-death experiences, where you were beaten up, robbed, extorted, heartbroken or brainwashed. There's no fee to enter this contest from the dark side of life on the road, and the deadline's not until December 31, 2008, so there's plenty of time to figure out the best way to approach and describe for maximum effect. Not only that, there are prizes to be won!

• First Prize: $400
• Second Prize: $200
• Third Prize: $100

Also, if they choose to print your story in an anthology, you will get paid decent royalties. Send your 800 to 1500 word non-fiction story to editor(at)roadjunky(dot)com, and be sure to put "2008 Travel Contest" in the subject. Please go to their website to check out the rest of the contest guidelines.

You Don't Have To Be Jewish ...

... but if you have insight into the Jewish culture, you might want to look into these no-fee contests sponsored by Lilith Magazine. Lilith is accepting submissions to two contests: one for fiction, one for poetry. They are looking for original, unpublished stories (3,000 words or less), with heart, soul, and chutzpah, that illuminate issues in the lives of Jewish women. FIRST PRIZE is $250 and publication of their story in Lilith Magazine. Mail your fiction submission by November 1, 2008 to:

Lilith Magazine, 250 West 57th Street, Suite 2432, New York, NY, 10107.
(They do not accept emailed submissions).

For their poetry contest, they are looking for edgy and exciting work that touches in any way on the Jewish women's experience. Winning poets will win a cash prize, publication in Lilith Magazine, and the possibility of a public reading. You may submit up to 3 poems that do not exceed 100 lines in length. Submit your poems to the same address as the fiction contest, but don't forget to put "Charlotte Newberger Poetry Prize Competition," above the name of the magazine. Poetry entries must be postmarked by November 30, 2008. Please go to their website to check out the rest of their Writer's Guideline's.

Call for Stories about Mom

Familia Books is buying stories to be collected into an anthology tentatively titled Wisdom of Our Mothers. Fifty percent of the profits from the book will be donated to shelters for mothers and their children escaping from abusive relationships.

Payment: If your work is accepted, you will be paid US $100 per story upon publication of the book. (Other payment options for more money are available.)

Story guidelines: Stories will be true accounts of life’s lessons learned from one’s mother, regarding values, ethics, relationships. They should be generally positive, but may explore areas of disagreement or conflict with one’s mother.

Maximum length is 3,000 words (no minimum).

How to submit your story:

E-mail (preferred): ericjbowen@comcast.net

S-mail: Familia Books • PMB 326 • 1225 E. Sunset Dr. Ste. 145 • Bellingham, WA 98226 USA

Include with submission: Contact information: your name, address, phone number, and email address; short (100 words max) biography, resume, and/or self-promotion to publish with your story.

Deadline: November 30, 2008 (tentative)

For more information: Visit www.familiabooks.com

Gauge The Success of Your Novels' Title!

Are you trying to decide if the title of your novel will hook potential readers? The folks at Lulu.com commissioned a research team to analyze the titles of every book that topped the hardback fiction section of the New York Times Bestseller List from 1955 to 2004. They used the data gathered from over 700 titles to create the "Lulu Titlescorer," a program able to predict the chances that any given title would become a New York Times bestseller. Simply enter your choice of title in the field at the top of the page, make selections from 3 drop-down menus to define the title's attributes, and click on "Analyze my title!" The score represents the chances that your title will become a #1 hit!

"ZYZZYVA" Is Accepting Submissions Now!

Zyzzyva (ziz-uh-vuh) is not only the last word in the dictionary ("any of various South American weevils of the genus zyzzvya, often destructive to plants"); it is also the name of a literary magazine that appears in March, August, and November.
They publish a wide range of fiction, poetry, and essays (no interviews, reviews or criticisms), and accept submissions only from writers who live on the West Coast: CA, OR, WA, AK, HI. They also pay $50 on acceptance for first North American serial rights.
Submissions are accepted by snail mail only, and they ask that you not send anything via certified or registered mail. Send your work to: Editor, P.O. Box 590069, San Francisco, CA, 94159-0069. You may submit material of any length, and as many manuscripts as you like. "Take your best shot," and why not? It's free! Please go to their website to check out the rest of their submission guidelines.

"Election Horror" Short Fiction Contest ~

This year's theme for the Annual Apex Halloween Contest is "Election Horror," something I think it's safe to say we can all relate to. (Just the idea of the political arena makes me shudder!) Submit your short story of 1000 words or less (and for which first rights are available), to halloween(at)apexdigest(dot)com by 11:59PM EST, October 15, 2008. Prizes? Yes!

• 1st place winner receives 10 cents a word and publication in Apex Digest Online.
• 2nd place winner receives 5 cents a word and publication in Apex Digest Online.
• 3rd place winner receives a free Apex Book Company hardcover.
• 4th place winner receives a free Apex Book Company trade paperback.

Winning and second place stories will be published on November 4th (election day!) There's no fee to enter this contest, and there's plenty of inspiration no matter where your political affinities lie!

Poetry of the Sacred ~

Do you write poetry that expresses, directly or indirectly, a sense of the holy, or that evokes the sacred? If your work is religious, prophetic or contemplative, why not send a poem to the Poetry of the Sacred Contest 2009? Submit only one previously unpublished poem, written in English, of no more than 100 lines, to Merton Institute, 2117 Payne Street, Louisville, KY, 40206, (or email to vhurst(at)mertoninstitute(dot)org, by December 31, 2008.

• First Prize: $500
• Three Honorable Mention Prizes: $100

Poems will be judged on literary excellence, spiritual tenor, and human authenticity. Winning poems will be published in The Merton Seasonal. Please go to their website for the rest of the contest guidelines, get in touch with your spiritual center and see where it leads you.

"On The Premises" Wants To Read Your Revelation!

Who hasn't believed something that turned out to be false? Web-based fiction magazine On the Premises is giving all of us to whom that's happened a chance to turn our sadder-but-wiser (or maybe happier-and-wiser ... it could happen), stories to our advantage in their current contest: Revelation. They publish winning stories in no-fee contests held every four months. Send them between 1,000 and 5,000 words of fiction in which one or more characters believes something that turns out to be false, by 11:59 pm EST, Tuesday, September 30th, for a chance to be published and win prizes:

• 1st prize: $140
• 2nd prize: $100
• 3rd prize: $70
• Honorable mention: $25 (Between 0 to 3 of these)

They're interested in compelling, well-crafted, creative stories that clearly use the premise, and all the stories they publish are the contest-winning entries. Send your submissions to entries(at)onthepremises(dot)com. If the premises of On the Premises intrigues you, please go to their website and check them out!

Got Bad Poetry? No: Really Really Really Bad Poetry?

This one looks like too much fun! It's the Winning Writers 8th Annual Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest. All you need to do is submit a really awful poem to one of those bogus "vanity" poetry contests whose goal is to sell you expensive products and attract you to conferences. (There's a link to "contests to avoid" so you'll be able to find one of those easily enough). After you submit your parody poem to a vanity contest as a joke, submit it to the Wergle Flomp contest. They are looking for poems that are 1) Inspired nonsense, 2) Spectacularly awful, and/or 3) Intended to make fun of "vanity" contests. Prizes:

• First Prize: $1,359 and publication on WinningWriters.com
• Second Prize: $764 and publication on WinningWriters.com
• Third Prize: $338 and publication on WinningWriters.com
• Twelve honorable mentions will receive $72.95 each and publication on WinningWriters.com

Winning writers and honorable mentions will also receive Winning Writers polo shirts. There's no entry fee, and the deadline is April 1, 2009. Even if the contest is not for you, you'll have a blast reading the previous winning poems.

WritersWeekly.com's 24-Hour Short Story Contest!

This Writer's Weekly contest charges $5 in order to enter, but the premise is so intriguing I couldn't resist posting it here. You must enter the contest before the topic is posted; you cannot write your story first, and then enter. The start time is September 27, 2008 at 12:00 pm (noon) central time, and your story must be IN their inbox within 24 hours in order to qualify. This contest is held quarterly and limited to 500 entrants. Once you pay the 5-spot, you can download a pdf file of the contest guidelines. There are more than 85 prizes, including door prizes given at random, so there's many ways to come out a winner in this contest! Originality and good, strong endings are a priority. Please go to the contest webpage to check out the rules and guidelines (as well as all the prizes!), and then get ready to enjoy the creative stress you'll be in for ... perfect for those of you who work best under pressure!

Los Angeles Theater Women's Festival

The Los Angeles Theater Women's Festival is holding their Sixteenth Annual Festival March 26 through 29, 2009, and they have extended the deadline for video submissions until September 30th, 2008. They are seeking female solo performers of all ethnicities and ages with original performance pieces: Actors, performance artists, dancers, comedians, storytellers, singers and performance poets from throughout the world. Send them a videotape (cued to a 10-minute viewing segment), showing the exact performance under consideration for the Festival.
Send your video, (along with a $35 submission fee), and a self-addressed stamped envelope for returns to: Los Angeles Women's Theater Festival, 11411 Cumpston Ave. Suite 204, No. Hollywood, CA 91601. Include a photograph, resume, and other supporting materials, as well as a letter of introduction describing your work. Performers will be paid! If you are interested, download an application at www.lawtf.com. If you have questions, call them at (818) 760-0408, or email lawtfspotlight(at)yahoo(dot)com

Writer's Faire '08 ~

If you enjoy being surrounded by hundreds of fellow-writers who are interested in learning more about perfecting their craft, this Sunday's free UCLA Extension Writer's Faire, an annual gathering of the writer's community, is just the thing for you! Featuring 24 mini-panels that will focus on every aspect of writing, from "Getting Started as a Writer" (at 11:00 AM) through "Living Your Live as a Writer" (at 3:00 PM), this festive occasion will give you the opportunity to explore many different realms of writing. Screenwriting, fiction writing, nonfiction, poetry, playwriting, writing for the youth market, getting published, getting produced, getting started, getting into an MFA program, getting to the heart of a story – all will be explored at the Faire! Six panels will be run simultaneously in six different classrooms, so you are sure to find discussions that will interest you! Seating is first-come, first-served, so arrive early to get a prime spot. After the panels, you can talk with the instructors in the courtyard, get writing advice, and have them sign a favorite book (their publications will also be available). This is also a great opportunity to meet and network with other writers and make new friends!

Peace, Love and Rock 'n' Roll: Woodstock Revisited

Where were you in 1969? If you were at Woodstock and can come up with a true 850 to 1100 word story, you might want to submit it to Literary Cottage's Woodstock Revisited Anthology Contest. You'll have to hurry, though: the deadline is September 7, 2008. Adams Media will pay authors $100 per story, plus one copy of the anthology. Not only that, Literary Cottage offers prizes!

• 1st Prize: $100
• 2nd Prize: $75
• 3rd Prize: $50

So, if you were there and can remember the experience, or if you know someone who was (they are also accepting "as told to" stories), write from the heart, tell your story with imagery and humor, end with a satisfying conclusion, and email your story to sreynolds(at)literarycottage(dot)com. They have many guidelines for submissions as well as tips for writing a fabulous story, so please go to their website and check them out.

Thema Literary Journal: Many Plots, One Premise ~

Do you have a flair for writing cleverly-constructed plots? Good character delineation? Clever plot twists? Or if poetry's your thing, are your poems thoughtfully constructed and carefully distilled? In either case, Thema Literary Journal might be interested in accepting your submissions for publication. They are also kind enough to provide themes for your inspiration. Upcoming themes and deadlines are:

• In Kay's kitchen -- November 1, 2008
• Put it in your pocket, Lillian -- March 1, 2009
• The dean's cat -- July 1, 2009

The premise must be an integral part of your story or poem, not merely incidental to it. They prefer fewer than 20 double-spaced pages of short fiction, and no more than three poems. On acceptance for publication, they will pay:

• Short Story: $25
• Short-Short Piece (up to 1000 words): $10
• Poem: $10

There is no reading/submission fee and both traditional and experimental short stories and all types of poetic forms are welcome. Send your short stories to Virgina Howard, editor, (poems to Gail Howard, poetry editor), Box 8747, Metairie, LA, 70011-8747. Be sure to include SASE and indicate premise! If you are submitting for more than one premise, be sure to include a separate SASE for each premise. Do not put the author's name on any page beyond the title page, and indicate the target theme in your cover letter or first page of your manuscript. Please go to their website for additional info.

A Sign Of The Times???

Here's another war-related contest, but the folks at Diversion Press are looking for short stories, not poetry, for their upcoming anthology: War is All We Know. Their anthology is designed to collect the best FICTION on war; historical or other fiction is fine, but they do not want real-live battle stories! Each story must include, as a quote or somewhere else in the text, the phrase "War is all we know."
Prizes are :

• 1^st: $30 dollars
• 2nd: $20 dollars
• 3rd: $10 dollars

All three winners will have their short-stories published and receive a free copy, including free shipping, of the publication. Winners may also have their stories and name featured on their web-site. While only three prizes will be given, other work may be considered for publication in the anthology. Please go to their website to look at the rest of their submission and proposal guidelines.
You have until December 1st 2008 to get your 20 to 40 page story submitted to them. They prefer regular mail, [Diversion Press Inc., Attn: Acquisitions Editor, P.O. Box 30277, Clarksville, TN 37040] but will also accept your work via email at divisionpress(at)yahoo(dot)com.

What's In That Drawer?

Ya gotta love a contest that gives you a theme and lots of ideas with which to flush it out. (At least, I always do!) Here's one that especially intriguing: The Muse Marquee's Mother Hen Contest has it all: a cash prize of $25, no entry fee, and a link to an article with an amazing plethora of suggestions on what to write about and how to finesse it into your short story of 1,000 words or less (less is better). The deadline isn't until October 10th 2008, so you have plenty of time to be inspired, write and then submit your story to museitupeditor(at)yahoo(dot)ca. The winning story will also be published in their November 2008 issue!

Are You Able To Come Up With Edgy One-Liners?

If so, this will interest you: Kate Harper Designs is accepting submissions of "edgy quotes with a twist of humor," and will pay $50 for each one she accepts!! Quotes should be appropriate for a greeting card, bookmark, or coffee cup, 20 words or less, and original (by you). She also provides a handy link to a page with helpful suggestions; among them:

• What have you said to a friend lately that made them laugh?
• What is the best piece of advice your pet would give you?
• Think of someone who did something nice for you lately. What would you like to say to them?

Send as many quotes as you want to quotesub(at)aol(dot)com, but first, go to her website to look at the rest of the submission guidelines.

Barn Owl Review Accepting Submissions ~

Barn Owl Review, a handsomely-designed print journal of poetry, literary fiction and critical prose, offers several options for submissions to it's upcoming 2009 issue. They are looking for high-quality work that takes risks while connecting to its readers. You may submit 3 to 5 poems to the attention of their poetry editors, (nothing of a greeting card or inspirational verse nature, please), 1 to 3 short shorts of 1,000 words or less OR one short story (5,000-word maximum), to the attention of fiction editors, or critical prose (also up to 5,000 words), to the attention of Adam Deutsch. Barn Owl Review 2 will be released February, 2009, so be sure to have your submissions in by November 1st, 2008. They will pay two copies of the issue that your work appears in, and offer half off for additional copies. Please go to their website to check out the rest of their submission guidelines.

Queer, Here, and Accepting Submissions!

Queer Collection is accepting submissions for the June 2009 publication of The Queer Collection: Prose and Poetry 2009. They are looking for original prose and poetry by and for a gay, lesbian, bi, transgender and queer audience. Poems may be up to 40 lines, the prose word-count limit is 3000 words, and you may submit up to 5 pieces for consideration. Authors whose work is selected for publication will receive $25; there is no entry or reading fee. Mail your submissions, along with a cover letter and bio to Gregory A. Kompes, Editor, Queer Collection, Fabulist Flash Publishing, P.O. Box 570368, Las Vegas, NV 89157. Please go to their website for the rest of the submission guidelines.

Support Local Poets

The Valley Contemporary Poets present a special night of poetry with Jamie O’Halloran on Tuesday, August 19
9:00 pm
open reading sign up 8:30 pm

Cobalt Cafe
22047 Sherman Way in Canoga Park, Canoga Park (just west of Topanga Canyon)
Free – one drink minimum, open reading

Jamie O’Halloran is an honored past director of the Valley Contemporary Poets who has been published with the VCP Press imprint. She is the recipient of several awards for her poetry including the Ann Stanford Poetry Prize and has been nominated three times for the Pushcart Prize.

The Best Advice You Ever Had ~

FundsforWriters, (and its annual sponsor IdeaWeaver), is announcing its 7th Annual FundsforWriters Essay Contest. FundsforWriters changes its theme every year; this year they are offering two topics to choose from that have one thing in common: write about the best advice you ever had.

• Topic 1: The Best Advice I Ever Had and Ignored
• Topic 2: The Best Advice I Ever Had and Followed.

FundsforWriters is "all about the writer," so your essay should be writing-related, or, at least will tie back into a writing lesson. The deadline is October 31, 2008, essays should be 750 words or less, and you have both No Fee and $5 Entry Fee options, (the $5 entry fee option has bigger prizes). Those that select the $5 entry fee option will also receive the ebook of their choice.
$5 Entry Fee Category:

• First Place: $200
• Second Place: $20 - and a free copy of IdeaWeaver software (a $49.95 value)
• Third Place: $10

No Entry Fee Category:

• First Place: $50
• Second Place: $20
• Third Place: $20

The same piece cannot be entered in both categories. Submit your entry in the body of an email to hope(at)fundsforwriters(dot)com. Please go to their website for the rest of the contest guidelines and to read previous winning essays.

WRITERS' Journal Poetry Contest ~

There's a small $3.00 entry fee for this one, but sometimes you have to "give a little to get a little," and who knows where this could lead for you, yes? The deadline for Writer's Journal Poetry Contest isn't until August 30, 2008, so you have plenty of time to fine-tune a poem of 25 lines or less. (Maybe bring one to your writer's group for them to critique!)

• 1st Prize: $50 plus publication in Writers' Journal
• 2nd Prize: $25 plus publication
• 3rd Prize: $15 plus publication
• Plus Honorable Mentions

Send your entries to "Poetry Contest," Val-Tech Media, P.O. Box 394, Perham, MN, 56573, with a check or money order payable to WRITERS' Journal. There's a few more guidelines, so please go to their website before you mail them your work.

What Was The Most Important Day In Your Life?

If you can think of many, select one of them, write a 1500-or-less-word essay (or polish up one you already have), and enter it in Real Simple's Life Lessons Essay Contest, for a chance to win a $3000 prize and have your essay published in Real Simple! The contest ends September 9, 2008, but they are accepting snail mail entries as late as September 16 (if they are postmarked by September 9); mail to: Essay Contest Real Simple, 1271 Avenue of the Americas, 9th floor, New York, NY 10020. Email entries can be sent to lifelessons(at)realsimple(dot)com.

Is It Truly Better To Have Loved And Lost?

No matter how you answer that question, you probably have a short story, either written or not-yet-written, that could illustrate your point. If you do, If Only I Could Tell You ... Where Past Loves and Current Intimacy Meet is sponsoring it's 2nd annual Past Loves Day contest whose deadline isn't until midnight, August 17, 2008. Tell them, in no more than 700 words, as though you were telling a best friend, about how this past love influenced your life.

• First Prize: $100
• Second Prize: $75
• Third Prize: $50

All winners and Honorable Mentions will receive a copy of If Only I Could Tell You ... Where Past Loves and Current Intimacy Meet. Winners will also have their stories posted (anonymously, if requested) on their website.
Send your entry to: contest(at)ourpastloves(dot)com or: CONTEST, Spruce Mountain Press, 61 Katuah Road, Plainfield, VT 05667.
Winners will be announced on Past Loves Day, September 17, 2008. There is no fee to enter.

A Call For "War" Poetry

Among the horrible things people do to each other, war is one of the worst. It's a tough issue to address, but if you can delve into it and come out with a poem, this may interest you. WaterWood Press is accepting war poetry until September 1, 2008 for its upcoming softcover anthology: Against Agamemnon: War Poetry. They are seeking 1 to 3 previously unpublished poems (up to 30 lines) from any good poet, (known or unknown), in any style. They ask that you do not send poems about 9/11, as those will not be considered. Unless you are submitting from a foreign country and sending via US Mail is unpractical or too expensive, submissions will be accepted only via snail mail: WaterWood Press, 47 Waterwood, Huntsville, Texas, 77320 -- Attn: 2008 War Poetry Editor. Poets whose poems are selected for publication will receive a copy of the anthology as payment. Please go to their website for further submission guidelines, which include a recommendation of other works you may wish to refer to (#11).